Love is Kind

Usually when I have the opportunity to talk to you guys I like to use polls and surveys that were taken from people on the street. So tonight I'd like to take a survey. Just raise your hand if any of my questions apply to you. How many of you have ever taken some type of music lessons? How many have taken any swimming lessons? How about golf lessons? How many have ever taken dance lessons? Cooking lessons? Horseback riding? Tennis? Public speaking lessons? Scuba diving? Underwater basket weaving?

You get the idea. Our world believes in continuing education, which basically means any kind of education outside of high school or being home-schooled. In fact, our area has a bunch of community colleges that offer all sorts of courses and lessons in everything from remedial math to- you guessed it, underwater basket weaving. And while all of these lessons are very good, there's one area that most of us have never had any training in. Yet it's the most important area of all. It’s more important than any lesson, any class or any degree we need for success in business, or winning a dance recital, or jamming in a band. That area is Relationships. We all need lessons on relationships. All of us. We all need lessons on loving. So that's what we're doing in this series on 1 Corinthians 13- we are basically learning how to love.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

1 Corinthians 13 talks basically about loving God, ad loving others. But it seems to me that the word “love” has a meaning anymore. I mean, in most popular books, television shows, movies, and music, the term “lust” would be more appropriate than “love.” Rarely do we see the kind of love that Paul describes here- patient, kind, not jealous, not boastful, not proud, not rude, not demanding, not irritable, always hopeful, always enduring, even under the worst circumstances. Surely, if we all loved the way Paul describes in the bible, it would revolutionize neighborhoods, churches, marriages, relationships, and families. This kind of love is God’s kind of love. This is the kind of love God wants you to show to everyone around you. You see, love has very little to do with how we feel- I can say I love chocolate chip ice cream, or I love the newest album from Jeremy Camp, or I love the smell of a new car. But if I am in a relationship with any of you, do you want me to love you like I love the smell of a car. I hope not. I hope you expect more than that. I know that God expects more than that. So love has less to do with our feelings- it has more to do with the decisions and choices we make everyday. Think of all the people you interact with each day- friends at school, boyfriends, girlfriends, teachers, school bus drivers, bosses, people at RISE708. How can you show love to them?

Last Friday Derek covered the first part- Love is patient. Tonight, I want to talk to you about the second part- "Love is kind." But what does it mean to be kind? Kindness is love in action. Love looks for a way of improving somebody else's life. Love through kindness builds people up. So tonight, let’s talk about how to be a People Builder.

Romans 15:2 says "We should consider the good of our neighbor and build up his character." So the question is, How do I build up the people in my life?

This message tonight is for everybody. It doesn’t matter if your 16 or 60, a student or retired, live in a palace, or live on the streets. It’s for all of us – teachers, parents, wives, husbands, girlfriends, boyfriends, if you work with other people at a job, and especially, especially, if you go to school. Because the fact is that all of us have people around us we'd like to build up, that we'd like to bring out the best in. So tonight we're going to look at some ways you can build people up.

1. Give people a personal challenge because a challenge always brings out the best in us.

2. Give people complete confidence. We not only need a challenge, but the confidence to do it.

3. Give it to people straight- be honest. Sometimes you need to level with people in order to bring out the best in them. Tell them the truth - don’t give them a bunch of fluff.
4. Give people the credit they deserve.

1. GIVE THEM A PERSONAL CHALLENGE
In Ephesians 4:1, Paul says "here's what I want you to do. While I'm locked up here, a prisoner for the Master, I want you to get out there and walk—better yet, run!—on the road God called you to travel. I don't want any of you sitting around on your hands. I don't want anyone strolling off, down some path that goes nowhere. And mark that you do this with humility and discipline—not in fits and starts, but steadily, pouring yourselves out for each other in acts of love, alert at noticing differences and quick at mending fences."

In that scripture, Paul is urging people to make their life count. He's challenging them. He's saying don't waste your life. Be all that God made you to be. Make your life count. Why? Because we all need a cause, a project, a dream that calls forth the best in our lives. It strengthens us. If Paul was with us here tonight, he would tell you this- brothers and sisters, don’t sit around and waste your life text messaging each other, or using up your cell phone minutes, or sitting around playing video games, or making ungodly comments on facebook or myspace! No, do something that makes your life count, and glorifies God.

This weekend is a big weekend for the New England Patriots. On Sunday they play the San Diego Chargers in the AFC Championship game. Now I realize that not everyone in here is a Patriots fan, or even a football fan. But the point is not about football. For many of you in here, you have been kind of spoiled the past few years with Boston’s sports teams, unless of course you are a Bruins fan. But if you follow the Red Sox, you know they have been in the playoffs 5 of the last 7 years, and have won the world series twice in the past 4 years. If you follow the Patriots, you know that they are on the brink of becoming the greatest football team in NFL history- they have won the Superbowl three times since 2001, they have been to the AFC championship game 5 times since 2001, and have won their division 6 times in the past 7 years. But it wasn’t always like that for the Patriots. From 1989 through 1993, the Patriots were the laughing stock of the NFL, and considered one of the worst run teams in all of professional sports. Take a look at these records:
1989- won 5 lost 11
1990- won 1 lost 15
1991- won 6 lost 10
1992- won 2 lost 14
1993- won 5 lost 11

They were so bad that they couldn’t sell enough tickets to their games at the old Sullivan stadium, which meant that their games were not even on television. That’s a pretty big change from today, when the Pats are on prime time much of the time. So for those five years the Patriots won only 24% of their games. By 1990 they were 1 – 15, just like the Miami Dolphins this year. Terrible team. Then in 1993 along came a guy named Bill Parcells. He was tough, but he was a people builder. During his brief stay he completely turned the organization around, and in 1994 he was named Coach of the year and the Patriots made the playoffs for the first time since 1986. And two years later, the Patriots went to the super bowl. He turned a loser team into a winner, a dynasty. Parcells was a people builder. Not many people know that, because they see him as some sort of football mercenary that hops from team to team. But that’s why he continues to be hired- he knows how to bring out the best in people by issuing personal challenges to the players. How many people in here remember how he challenged Drew Bledsoe and Terry Glenn? Yeah, those are two pretty well known examples, but his record over the past 30 years or so speaks for itself.

All of us need somebody in our lives who can inspire us to be what we could be. I am here to tell you that God wants to use you to be a people builder for the people in your life, to bring out their best, to inspire them to be what God knows they could be. Think about this for a minute- does anyone come to mind that is your personal people-builder. Someone that builds you up, no matter how bad things get? It may be a boyfriend or girlfriend, a regular friend, maybe a teacher, maybe a coach, maybe someone on the RISE708 youth team, maybe someone in this sanctuary tonight, and hopefully your parents.

So if you're going to be a people builder, to bring out the best in the people around you, give them a personal challenge, just like Bill Parcells did to the 1996 Patriots.

2. GIVE THEM COMPLETE CONFIDENCE
Romans 15:2 says “ Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up." We all need confidence. When somebody believes in you, doesn’t that feel good? Why? Because it brings out the best in you. It gives you the courage. "I know you can do it!" Jesus did this with Peter. Peter's name in Greek was "Petros", which means pebble. Jesus said, "Pebble, you're going to be a rock. But I'm giving you a new name." When Jesus said that to Peter he was anything but a rock. He was Mr. Impulsive, Mr. Foot-in-Mouth. But Jesus said you're going to be a rock. Jesus didn't tell him what he was; He told him what he COULD be -- that's potential, that's building confidence. Whenever you label somebody you reinforce what they are. Folks, the world is full of people that will tell you, your friends and family what they are. You’re Lazy. You’re dumb. You’re a disappointment. You’re a failure. How about this one- you don’t apply yourself. Argggghhhhhhh!

But starting tonight, each and every one of you have a chance, a chance to break that chain around your neck, break that cycle- Don't tell people what they are, tell them what they could be. Build them up. Instead of catching people doing something wrong, catch someone doing something right, and tell them. Enourage each other. Build each other up- because if we can’t encourage and build each other up here at RISE708, who will. Just six words- “I know you can do it.”

We all need encouragement. For the past year or so I have kept an Encouragement File. Every time anybody writes me a note, a card, a letter, an email, I file it. Even if it's mildly encouraging, like "Better luck next time!" or "You tried on that sermon, I didn’t quite get it, but good try." Anything that's mildly encouraging I file it. On those days when I'm discouraged and down and tired, I get out that Encouragement File and I read through all the letters and notes and emails over and over. You know why? Because it's encouraging to me to know that at some time in my life, my wife, my son, or Derek or someone on the youth team, or maybe one of you, thought I had some kind of value! We all need encouragement.

There’s this story of a kid who grew up in the projects in Boston. He had nothing. His family had nothing. Winter nights were cold, and there was little food on the table. Days and nights were consumed with thoughts of how to stay out of the cross fire of bullets from rival gangs, or being able to walk to school without being attacked. This kid had no one at home to encourage him. His father had left the home when he was 12. His mother worked two jobs just to be able to pay the rent and try to feed him and his two younger sisters. So it was nothing short of a iracle when he walked on the stage at his college graduation as the class valedictorian. He had performed spectacularly in college, and he gave all the credit to one of his teachers in high school. As he stood before the graduation day crown of over 5000 people, he recalled the the endless days and nights of despair in the housing projects of Boston. The future looked bleak, and he was ready to end it all. He tried to commit suicide several times. But that graduation day, he’s the top student at his college, with a job offer. Why? Because some teacher kept reinforcing his confidence. His voice cracked as he related the story, he said "All those years, I wanted to quit and didn't think I had a future, but someone believed in me more than I did in myself. She wanted me to succeed even more than I did."

Who can you say that about? That you believe in them more than they believe in themself? That you want them to succeed more than they do? That you love them more than they love themself? If you want to be a people builder you've got to give people a challenge and then you've got to say, "I know you can do it!" Whether you're working with other students on a class assignment, or you’re trying to support one of your friends, or even trying to encourage your mom or dad, those six words out of your mouth can do more than any thing you could imagine - "I know you can do it."

Like I said, the world is addicted to pointing out the negative rather than glorifying the positive. Just watch the news at night. So, it’s not easy to give encouragement. It might feel weird, or embarrassing to do it. So here are some suggestions on giving encouragement:

1. When you encourage people it needs to be real, from the heart and not some kind of phony manipulation.
2. It needs to be regular. Don't be stingy with encouragement. Give it out all the time. Encourage everybody -- the waitress at Friendly’s or Dave’s Diner in Middleboro, your school bus driver who gets you to school through snow and icey streets, your teachers, your parents, your friends here at RISE708 or at school, maybe even us on the youth team. I know it’s not easy. The world outside those front doors tells you its OK to be rude to others. The world out there tells you its OK to be indifferent, or uncaring. Who cares what that waitress thinks?! Who cares how the cafeteria ladies at school feel, or the person behind the register next door at Amaro’s feels. Break that cycle tonight.

If you are like me, you may feel a little weird saying that to somebody face-to-face. That’s OK- most of us feel that way. But if that’s the case, send them a note or email. Who here was at regular CCC worship last weekend? (give message about sending mary and Cheryl email as to how they made me feel).

When was the last time you wrote a love note or thank you note to your parents? You may not think too highly of one or both of your parents. But just think how you would make them feel if you wrote them a simple note- Mom, Dad- I may not always show it, but I appreciate all you do for me. That simple note could be a life-changing experience for them. Teachers always hear about when they're doing a bad job. When was the last time you wrote a note of encouragement to a teacher that's doing a good job? I know you have teachers you feel that way about, a teacher that has encouraged you, or built you up. When was the last time you wrote a note to encourage a friend who's had a major impact in your life?

3. BE HONEST WITH OTHERS
We all need honest feedback. Since none of us is perfect, and we need people in our lives that say, “get back in line!" We all need people who will lay it out for us, and be honest with us.

Proverbs 27 says: "People learn from one another, just as iron sharpens iron." We bring out the best in each other. "An honest answer is the sign of a true friendship." A real friend will tell you when you're making a mistake. A real friend will level with you. They'll lay it on the line. Even when it's painful, they'll tell you the truth. Prov. 27:6 says "A friend means well even when he hurts you."

4. LASTLY, GIVE OTHERS FULL CREDIT
If you want to be a people builder -- bring out the best in the people in your life -- give them full credit. Praise the growth and the changes you see in their lives. The Bible says "Let us have real, warm affection for each other and a willingness to let others have the credit." I have a sign in my office that says , "God can do great things through the person who doesn't care who gets the credit."

How do you do on that? How quickly do you share the credit? Usually we like to share the blame but keep the credit. God says the mark of maturity is to accept the blame and share the credit. The exact opposite. Just ask me or Tim about the work that goes in to making worship happen for four services every Saturday or Sunday. It takes about 20 different people, all with different responsibilities, to make it all happen. There’s sound, media, performers, worship leaders, child care, greeters, ushers, parking lot attendants, and of course a Pastor with a message. And when you get that many people involved going in so many different directions, negatives are bound to pop up. But if we can’t share the credit and take the blame in CCC’s worship ministry, where can we do it?

When you look at these four things on how to be a People Builder: Give Them a Personal Challenge, Give Them Complete Confidence, Give Them Honest Opinions, and Give them Full Credit – you’re probably saying- hey’s that’s a lot of work. Yes, and you won't always feel like doing it. There's a price tag for being a people builder. It requires time, effort, money, energy, lack of privacy. It always costs to be kind. Usually we're so caught up in our own thing we don't have time to build anybody else up. We focus on me, myself, I. I don't care about anybody else; I'm focusing on me. It takes unselfishness. It costs to be kind. The question tonight is- are you willing the pay the price. I am – are you?

But your concern may not be how much work it takes to love with kindness- your question may simply be “Why should I do it?” No one does it for me! Hey, doesn’t the bible talk about treating others as you would like to be treated? If that’s true, why don’t people in my life treat me with kindness, or love?

I don’t know what specific circumstance each of you has with girlfriends, boyfriends, regular friends, or with your parents or guardians at home. But if you are here tonight it tells me that you are willing to be a little different, to step across the line and break the cycle of hatred and indifference. The bible says "In response to all God has done for us, let us outdo each other in being helpful and kind to each other." God's been kind to you, so you owe it to others! The Romans, back when the first Christians were forming after Jesus Christ came to earth, used to confuse the word "cristos" with "crestos". Cristos means Christ. Crestos, in Latin, means kindness. But what a great confusion! If anything ought to be synonymous it ought to be kindness and a Christian. Christians ought to be the most kind and loving people in the work force. Christians ought to be the most kind and loving people at school. Christians ought to be the most kind and loving people at the mall. Christians ought to be the most kind and loving people on the internet. And Christians ought to be the most kind and loving people to – other Christians. Let’s take a look:

=> VIDEO

So how do you rate as a people builder? How many people do you know would say that you do this to them? How many of you feel like the person in that video? Then I give you a challenge. I want to give you a new objective for life. Whether you live another year, five years, ten years or a hundred years - I want to challenge you to make as your primary objective of life to be a people builder, not a people-trasher. Someone who encourages, and doesn’t hurt others. Someone who picks up others, instead of beating them when they are already down? Who is willing to do that? Who here has the guts to be willing to commit themselves for the rest of their life to being a people builder." Then stand-up and be counted-Let’s make this public- repeat after me:
Starting tonight, I'm going to commit the rest of my life, no matter how much it costs me personally,
to bringing out the best in people that I come in contact with.
I'm going to dedicate my life to looking for constructive ways to building people up."
I’m going to dedicate my life to stop the cycle of trashing others
I’m committing to loving others like Jesus loves me.

I want everyone here to hear me on this…all of us here, no matter how old we are, how smart we are, how gifted we are, how successful we may think we are- all of us here are broken. Very few of us have had anybody ever build us up like we can start doing as soon as I finish up. You can be a home builder, bodybuilder, a money builder- but none of those things are going to last. But there is something that's going to last for eternity. There is no more worthwhile endeavor in life than to be a people builder.

If you do that, Proverbs 11:17 says "You do yourself a favor when you're kind." The New International Version says, "The kind man benefits himself." When you help other people succeed, you succeed. When you help other people win, you win. And if you love others, they become loving, and they will love you back, with kindness.

Let’s pray together:
I don’t pretend to know what’s in your heart tonight. Maybe you have already made the commitment to accept Jesus in your life and know the unconditional love He has for you. Maybe you heard something tonight that’s pulling at your heart, and you’re thinking, yeah, that’s how I want my life to be- a life filled with love with patience, love with kindness.
Will you commit to bringing out the best in people that God has placed in your life and He will place in your life in the days or years ahead? Would you say in your heart, "God, I do want to become a people builder." God has placed people around you that He wants you to build up. Who do you need to write a note to, a note of encouragement?

Who do you need to give more credit to? The kindest thing you can do for somebody is to introduce them to Jesus Christ. Who could you invite to RISE708, which could start them on the road to becoming all they're meant to be. Some of you need to begin your own personal development process. We want to help you to become what God has shaped you to be. Some of you need to say, "Jesus Christ, come into my heart and help me to become what You made me to be." If you've never done that, do that now. Make that your starting decision. "Christ, come into my life and help me to discover what You made me for. I want to know You and follow You." If that’s your decision tonight, I urge you to grab Derek or someone from the youth team to talk about your decision. Do it today. We have no idea what tomorrow will bring.
In Jesus' name. Amen.